In the beginning there was Pete and Alice.
 Michael was without form or conscience.
 Pete moved upon Alice.
 And in seven seconds Pete rested.
 Alice said “that’s good.”
 Thus in the space of six seconds Pete and Alice were fruitful and multiplied.
 Michael was then born within the space of nine months.
 Pete absconded.
 The birth certificate does not mention Pete.
 Michael is thus immaculate.